How was silence a form of whistleblowing within the Moon Arkestra?

What is Silence? Silence, ostensibly, may sit somewhat paradoxically with the understanding of whistleblowing; this idea and notion of using sound to rupture. However, I will explore the radical power of silence in what follows and how carving out space for its presence functioned as a method of whistleblowing within the configuration of the Moon Arkestra. 

A trite question maybe, but does silence even exist? Let’s see.

I’m reminded of John Cage’s 4’33 [2]. It’s a silent composition made in 1952, where the performers existed on stage with their instruments in complete silence for 4 minutes and 33 seconds. It’s a beautiful piece that one can draw many learnings from, but what I would like to emphasise is the lack of silence at play while it was being performed. Undoubtedly there was the shuffling of clothing, chairs and feet; sneezes, coughs, the clearing of throats; the rustling of activity outside the room this piece was being performed in. Even considering listening to the piece on vinyl, assuredly you’d hear the familiar sound of crackles and pops from the interaction of the record and the needle. It was not completely silent.

If we look at the dictionary definition of the word silence: “the absence of any sound or noise; stillness”[3], I am compelled to think, does this even exist? Yes I’m sure outside the atmosphere of this planet it might very well do, but does it make an appearance on this Earth? After all, this is where we have the greatest probability of spending 100% of our lives.

Anechoic chambers definitely exist, a manmade box, such as the one at Microsoft’s headquarters in Redmond, Washington. It manages to get to noise levels of -20.3db, below the threshold of human hearing. At these noise levels, you’ll start to hear your heartbeat, your blood flow, your bones grind, your lungs expand. You’ll turn your head and hear it moving; you may even begin to hallucinate. No one has lasted more than 45 mins in an anechoic chamber. So true, external auditory silence doesn’t exist on Earth naturally and when it does, it drives us mad, but what about an internal silence? What happens when we shift to the metaphysical? What about an inner stillness? 

Eckhart Tolle in his book, Stillness Speaks[4], makes many references to an internal silence or stillness as he more often calls it. “Not to be able to stop thinking is a dreadful affliction, but we don’t realize this because almost everyone is suffering from it, so it is considered normal. This incessant mental noise prevents you from finding that realm of inner stillness that is inseparable from Being.”[4] He also says, “To be aware of little, quiet things, you need to be quiet inside. A high degree of alertness is required. Be still. Look. Listen. Be present.”[4] Tolle is unfurling the deeper layers of silence within his conceptualisation of it. It is the depth of silence, of silence as stillness, which fascinates me. In this way, I argue it can, potentially, instrumentalise whistleblowing. Thus, the definition of silence I’ll be using for the proceeding duration of this writing is inner stillness, a cessation of thoughts, an attentive awareness; an acceptance.

Moon Arkestra

The Moon Arkestra is a collective of 9 interdisciplinary artists, working together to create experiences that challenge the norms in music and art. We were thrown together on the eve of Tour de Moon, a touring festival that endeavours to do the same, but on a much grander scale; we are just one arm. The members of the Arkestra are from different backgrounds, musically, geographically, culturally; you’d be hard pressed to find a more diverse group. And this is precisely what sparked and nurtured the idea for this piece.

I’m accustomed to rock bands with a frontman, aggressive banter and a raucous abandon. But this beast was not like the ones before. There was no clear structure or hierarchy, it was a softer, gentler giant, an amorphous rolling mass, ever changing, ever gathering. And with each passing day on tour, louder and louder, what felt like the truth, reverberated within me. Silence is Necessary.

“Meet everyone and everything through stillness rather than mental noise.”[4]

I struggled to find my place within the group and on the tour as a whole. I felt a subtle, steadily increasing sensation of grinding, a palpable friction, building inside and out. 

“This isn’t how it should be.” 

“How can I change this?”

 “No.” 

I soon realised it wasn’t anything external that was causing this friction, it was thoughts just like these; it was the noise inside of me. The constant chattering, the automatic reaction to reject whatever was arising: this was the culprit. And so I stopped. I stopped listening and feeding these thoughts; after all, how else is it supposed to be? It is the way it is right now. Surrender to the moment. Billions of years of gazillions of molecules smashing into each other innumerable times led to this. So who am I to say no? Who am I to resist this soup? This concoction of minerals and spices, of sounds and sights, of sensations and happenings.

So I watched and listened, and slowly I started to accept things as they were. And I began to see the truth of the situation; there are 9 of us here, all very talented and knowledgeable in different ways. None of this is serious and ultimately we all just wanna have fun. With this steadily growing acceptance, the sense of friction inside me subsided, my internal bitch-olouge (monologue of bitching) died down and what I was left with was stillness.

A moment of particular importance was the rehearsal in Newcastle on the 27th of May 2022. All 9 of the Arkestra was present and for the entire time, aside from a few hellos, I was silent inside. I regarded all thoughts after this point as non essential, as superfluous. They were secondary to the act of watching and listening to the rehearsal unfold, and I did the same with the feelings that emerged. I watched and listened and in a sort of out-of-body way, things just happened. I felt at peace. At some point Fraz asked me if there was anything I’d like to add, and without thinking I heard myself say “let’s all drop out.” And so we added in a little section where all performers stopped playing. Then, after a few seconds, Vee (sax) and Zoe (cello) came in with a repeating brooding melody, and then wham! We were all back in again. It really added excitement to the piece, and we were all quite happy with it. Having this moment of silence in the piece subtly invited us to have a greater appreciation for the music that came before and after the silence. It felt like a nice metaphor for what I was experiencing inside as well. Demoting my thoughts and feelings, while cultivating an attitude of acceptance, eventually led to a feeling of silence and peace inside me. This sprouted a greater appreciation for the sights, sounds and magik which were unfolding outside of me.

I’ve also experienced that there’s a distinction between being quiet from a feeling of repression and being quiet from this place of inner stillness/acceptance. One feels like a pot boiling over, and the other feels like a lake; expansive, complete.

There is a time to be quiet and there is a time to make noise, but the time for acceptance is always. Inner stillness, an attentive awareness, a silent acceptance always has a place. How will you know what to do if you cannot clearly see what is here already? If we are blinded, enamoured and absorbed with our own thoughts and feelings how will we know the right course of action to take? How can we see clearly when we don’t accept what is already here, where there’s so much noise inside us? Silence is necessary. 

Silence as stillness, an instrument of whistleblowing, enabled the truth within to emerge so that I could dance to the collective truth of the Moon Arkestra. In this way silence broke down the structures within so that I was able to surrender to new ways of being and living in the world. Silence enabled me to find truth amidst noise. Silence enabled me to navigate difference with a spirit of joy, patience and care.  To whistleblow collectively we need to traverse the hazy terrains that decades of social, political and historical conditioning have constructed within all of us. Through the gesture of turning inward silently, I was able to tune into the seed of truth within myself, harvesting a deeper appreciation and understanding of the plural truths of the Arkestra. 

Bibliography

1.

Alexandra Z. Salvaged Pages, Multimedia Edition: Young Writers’ Diaries of the Holocaust. Yale University Press; 2015. Accessed June 30, 2022. https://books.google.co.uk/books?id=5G2XCwAAQBAJ

2.

Wikipedia Contributors. 4′33″. Wikipedia. Published November 16, 2019. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/4%E2%80%B233%E2%80%B3

3.

Definition of silence | Dictionary.com. www.dictionary.com. Published 2019. https://www.dictionary.com/browse/silence

4.

Stillness Speaks: Amazon.co.uk: Tolle, Eckhart: 9788188479467: Books. Amazon.co.uk. Published 2022. https://www.amazon.co.uk/Stillness-Speaks-Eckhart-Tolle/dp/8188479462

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